2day i wanna write about my life now.. I'm Lost! tis few days, i felt very sad and confused. I was like running around the maze..don't know where is the exit.
1st of all, I had caused Sandra extremely angry on what i had done for her. On tuesday, I wanna go find her after her work.. I met her. and I accompanied her back hm.. while on the way hm, I had told her i didn't bring the cd she want. And she said it is ok, next time then pass to her. Well, I felt that i should pass her on tat day because i tink I may not pass to her the following days due to our busy schedule.. After sending home tat day.. I quickly ran to take a cab even though my stomach was pain.. I was very stubborn.. My mind only tink of passing the cd to her.. I came back to her block.. I called her and told her i had placed the cd on her shoes cupboard outside her house. Well, she was pissed off.. Oh my god, wht have i done wrong?! I forget to pass her the cd and i go back hm to take it again.. she don wanna take the cd because i didn't listen to her words and she was scared i did stupid tinks over and over again.. I should pass her when we meet up again.. She asked me to put inside her letter box instead. A happy day with her ended up made her angry.
2nd, I felt that I don't really know wht am i doing sometimes.. I'm not daring?! Lack of confident?! or ACTING I'M USELESS, NO CONFIDENT?? tis few days, i'm doing my assignments.. after sch, always when passing a chinese temple, i will pray for my family and of course Sandra.. hoping she can be happy, cheerful and healthy always.. It true, when sandra told me.. Happiness is not everything.. wht I did..is for sure I may not make her the most fortunate girl.. tis few days, we didn't have a gd chat before we slp.. in the morning, she has to wake up 7am and I caused her don't have enough slp.. Wht's wrong with Me????????? am I a Beast.... caused so much trouble for her.. she was so tired...2day is a weekend, hope she can rest well at home..sorry Sandra.
2day I went to Np to play soccer with Sandra's ex bf and friends.. I played a few matches only, and sat under the tree and rest.. glad to meet chris again.. take care dude.
Just now, when she called.. i knew I cant meet her 2day.. She was too tired and busy with her stuff.. well, she need a rest. Sad that i cant meet her.. its ok la, health is important.. after she put down her phone.. my mum tok to me.. She said, Don't force her if she don wanna be with you.. It will make things worst.. my eyes filled with tears, she was in her room.. all tis while, my family thought that I had a gf.. who know's?! Only Sandra and me know our real status.. Wht can i say?! She is single now, options is open.
I wanna watch you perform in the Concert..Can I?
Saturday, July 09, 2005
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